My Hometown’s History

This was sent to me by my friend Susie Bruton, who from the list of fowarding addresses, seems to have received it from my mother’s best friend Darlene Davis….Huntsville is SUCH a small town ;D

 

THIS GUY (WHOEVER HE IS) MUST HAVE BEEN SITTING AT THE BAR AT THE

AIRPORT WHEN HE WROTE THIS…

 

A Brief History of Huntsville

By Matthew Pierce

 

Huntsville was founded a long time ago by someone who is now dead. In

the beginning, the city was called Twickenham. This was before Bridge

Street, so it was not a good time to be a resident. Later on the town

was renamed Huntsville, because, come on, Twickenham. The name

“Huntsville” was taken from an Indian word that roughly translates to,

“We’re getting out of here, there’s a tornado coming.”

 

Huntsville was an important part of the Civil War. Confederate forces

willingly surrendered the town to the Yankees, who did not know about

the tornadoes. The rebels thought this was very funny. Several Yankees

were sucked up and landed on Monte Sano, where they remain to this day.

They are called Presbyterians.

 

The first mayor of Huntsville was Wernher Von Braun, who was a scientist

who invented the vacuum cleaner. Von Braun came to Huntsville and

started inventing rockets, presumably to blow up the tornadoes. He never

did figure out how to do this, so he gave up and invented Space Camp. He

was very good at inventing things.

 

Starting in the 1960s, Huntsville was subjected to another invasion.

Only this time it wasn’t Yankees who were invading, but engineers. These

engineers were mostly short men, and all of them drove very fast cars.

No one really understood what they did for a living, but they all had

lots of money. The engineers are still here today, because engineers

never really die-they just keep inventing ways to stay alive.

 

In the 1980s Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco formed a minor league

baseball team called the Huntsville Stars.

The Stars played at Joe Davis stadium, where they excelled at making it

all the way to the Southern League Championship and then losing. Back

then McGwire and Canseco were not using steroids, probably because they

were too busy eating the ice cream at the concession stand that comes in

the little plastic helmets, which is excellent.

 

The most famous person in Huntsville is Dan Satterfield, who is a

television meteorologist and loud person. He is the arch nemesis of the

tornado.

Whenever it begins to rain in, say, western Kansas, Satterfield

immediately interrupts television programming to broadcast warnings for

the next seven hours straight. Many tornadoes have gone away sad because

Dan Satterfield ruined their sneak attacks.

 

Today Huntsville has a bright future, and not just because it has more

restaurants than people. It is a modern city on the cusp of research and

technology. It is a crossroads, where the spirit of the Old South meets

the expression of the arts. It is a bustling, thriving community where

diversity and tradition mingle.

 

Basically, it is a city that prides itself on not being Birmingham.

This entry was posted on 13 May 2010 at 07:05 and is filed under And More.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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