This was sent to me by my friend Susie Bruton, who from the list of fowarding addresses, seems to have received it from my mother’s best friend Darlene Davis….Huntsville is SUCH a small town ;D
THIS GUY (WHOEVER HE IS) MUST HAVE BEEN SITTING AT THE BAR AT THE
AIRPORT WHEN HE WROTE THIS…
A Brief History of Huntsville
By Matthew Pierce
Huntsville was founded a long time ago by someone who is now dead. In
the beginning, the city was called Twickenham. This was before Bridge
Street, so it was not a good time to be a resident. Later on the town
was renamed Huntsville, because, come on, Twickenham. The name
“Huntsville” was taken from an Indian word that roughly translates to,
“We’re getting out of here, there’s a tornado coming.”
Huntsville was an important part of the Civil War. Confederate forces
willingly surrendered the town to the Yankees, who did not know about
the tornadoes. The rebels thought this was very funny. Several Yankees
were sucked up and landed on Monte Sano, where they remain to this day.
They are called Presbyterians.
The first mayor of Huntsville was Wernher Von Braun, who was a scientist
who invented the vacuum cleaner. Von Braun came to Huntsville and
started inventing rockets, presumably to blow up the tornadoes. He never
did figure out how to do this, so he gave up and invented Space Camp. He
was very good at inventing things.
Starting in the 1960s, Huntsville was subjected to another invasion.
Only this time it wasn’t Yankees who were invading, but engineers. These
engineers were mostly short men, and all of them drove very fast cars.
No one really understood what they did for a living, but they all had
lots of money. The engineers are still here today, because engineers
never really die-they just keep inventing ways to stay alive.
In the 1980s Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco formed a minor league
baseball team called the Huntsville Stars.
The Stars played at Joe Davis stadium, where they excelled at making it
all the way to the Southern League Championship and then losing. Back
then McGwire and Canseco were not using steroids, probably because they
were too busy eating the ice cream at the concession stand that comes in
the little plastic helmets, which is excellent.
The most famous person in Huntsville is Dan Satterfield, who is a
television meteorologist and loud person. He is the arch nemesis of the
tornado.
Whenever it begins to rain in, say, western Kansas, Satterfield
immediately interrupts television programming to broadcast warnings for
the next seven hours straight. Many tornadoes have gone away sad because
Dan Satterfield ruined their sneak attacks.
Today Huntsville has a bright future, and not just because it has more
restaurants than people. It is a modern city on the cusp of research and
technology. It is a crossroads, where the spirit of the Old South meets
the expression of the arts. It is a bustling, thriving community where
diversity and tradition mingle.
Basically, it is a city that prides itself on not being Birmingham.